Before mine, I’m curious if Megan can share what would be an appropriate amount of human blood in her soup that would stop her from throwing soup out?

The weird knee thing only happens in Joe Theismann mode.

Get you some of that traction control.

Well this wins ignorant comment of the day.

Hold my beer.

Wait, is this your son or the average Jalopnik reader?

Bob McAdoo looks like divorce. 

Ben McAdoo looks like you cut off the head of a pedophile, that is now 3/4 of the way to growing its new head.

What? 

I didn't realize that a $2 air freshener had such loaded implications

You should get to keep the car if it lands on your house.

“That reminds me, what ever happened to Wes Welker?”

Because you really enjoy Star Wars?

Hey there, lame man, you’re one “bum” short of the entire jingle.

Do it yourself death ray?  Seen it.  Covered it.

HAS FARMERS SEEN THAT?!?!?! HUH? HUH? HAVE YOU?

Looks to me like it might have a problem with wheel hop...

He could use the name DavidFix or David DeMuro.

I find your concern over a lack of plastic bumper end caps both hilarious and deeply troubling.

I will stop pre-rinsing my dishes when dishwashers stop leaving tiny pieces of herbs, lettuce, and other plant materials encrusted to the dishes.