The best part of being a teacher is that kids will believe anything for about five minutes if you give them details.

OMG that’s horrible. What is it about 9th birthdays and shitty parents?

The shelter had named the cat “Boopsie,” and for some reason, I thought we were obligated to keep calling her that. (IDK, kid logic?) I picked better names for future cats.

Yeah, the horrible coda to this story is that the cat’s tail got injured at one point, and my mom wanted to take her to the vet. Step-dad was 1) cheap and 2) a psychopath, so he was like, “I can just cut off the broken part with a cleaver.” He wasn’t serious (or at least I think not), but that also made me cry, so he…

A friend of my MIL sent a letter with talcum powder in it to another friend as a prank right after the whole anthrax scare happened.

The kitten story doesn’t have a good ending, unfortunately, but I have two cats now, and they’re the most snuggly, spoiled things on Earth. :)

I love you to pieces!

April Fools Day is just a sanctioned day for assholes to lie and embrace their asshole nature.

I think that was what really galvanized us to take our misguided actions. Someone had scared her, and and we were outraged by that. Nobody was going to scare our babysitter. Of course we likely traumatized her much more by taking up arms to defend her honor, but we were pretty little kids.

This is not an April Fool’s story but my brother and I are Irish twins (a prank unto itself) and one summer night when we were both 7 for a few weeks we had a very nice teenage girl babysitter. Her teen friends typically thought they were funny and were going to prank our sitter by coming over after dark and tapping…

April Fools Day is just a sanctioned day for assholes to lie and embrace their asshole nature.

I work at Cornell now. I’m kind of shocked at the amount of money some of the undergrads have. That is an absolutely shitty thing to do. Unfortunately I’m not completely surprised that they published that.

That’s fucked up and I am picturing the kids on the editorial board laughing about it. In my head they are all wearing blazers and loafers and look like Paul Ryan.

Some of my former student will say they suffered their worst prank at my hands. A few years ago I convinced my 4th grade science class that because of a very rare alignment of Venus, Earth, Mars and the Sun the gravity on Earth would be affected for 6/10 of a second and that if they jumped at the exact right moment,…

Cornell, my alma mater, is a private land-grant university meaning that generally, tuition is astronomical but they have big in-state tuition discounts for certain subsidized programs, which is how my family could afford to send me there. The school paper always prints a fake edition on April 1, but I was so stressed…

To kick this off, you must know I have a paralyzing fear of ET. My junior year of high school, my “friend” aka person who I hated but tolerated because it was a small school and she was friends with my friends, stole my car keys from my backpack during lunch and slipped them back without me noticing.

The “pranks” these days are far nicer than when I was in grade school. Worst prank? It was the same one every year. Kids would start running, pick up speed towards me and punch me in the stomach. Saying it was just a prank. Teachers thought it was hilarious. By 7th grade my mom (a teacher) decided to send me to a…

I am really disappointed he’s not running and I don’t even live in CA anymore.

I can’t think of anything, but my daughter has her first semi formal school dance tonight and she’s not the most popular kid by far, so I keep envisioning some horrible Carrie-style prank and it’s driving me insane.

George Takei’s was pretty mean.