+1 Zootopia

Alabama got a bit confused on the 3/5’s compromise...

26-14 or, as it’s known in Alabama, courtin’ ages.

Credit to Matt Rhule where it’s due, at least Baylor is just assaulting men now.

“It would be like saying what I actually said”

As a Vikings fan, I will never not blame Blair Walsh.

Naw we’ll bow to public pressure and start Teddy, throwing off team chemistry and lose the wildcard game that we barley squeaked in to

Toby Keith’s gonna be pissed when he realizes he didn’t think of this idea

This is the total shitshow the NFL deserves and absolutely the one it needs right now. Papa John’s being involved is the icing on the cake. …or the “garlic” sauce on the “pizza”. Or whatever.

The Packers catching them from two games back without Rodgers would be a very Vikings thing to have happen. I certainly can’t assume Detroit will do it.

Boris will do whatever it takes to get out of an additional five minutes of exercise.

John Fox has been a head coach for twenty years yet every week the Bears look like 53 guys who just met in the parking lot a half hour before the game.

Always drive clock truthers.

As an Illinois alum, I’m happy to update that Lovie has entirely solved this problem by making sure there are no situations in which his team would be required to prevent.

I don’t want to Monday Morning QB your editor but I think we probably would have figured out “Boston” from the rest of the headline.

Their the kind of people that would board your merchant vessel and take all your valuables and then get back on their boat and leave.

Well, aren’t you a samurai of semantics.

It’s a good thing the Astros won otherwise Yasiel Puig would have invoked his right of Prima Nocta.

It’s also a neat monetary fact that, if you start with a penny and double it every day for an entire month, at the end of the month Sarah Huckabee Sanders will still be a total asshole.

I just figured out how Trump won.