It will be the classiest inauguration America has ever had. Nothing Trump does could be considered crass because he’s the most humble person who has ever run for president. Just ask him.

Keep telling the same joke, Bobby! Sooner or later, it’ll be funny!

You get a modified FitBit, to make sure you’re maintaining a healthy amount of Basic behavior.

I think the rub here is the shocking revelation that a prosecutor in Missouri would withhold evidence in a trial against a black person.

But why does it matter to you if she feels that way? You know that your kids are more important to you, so who cares. I don’t see why you felt the need to teach her a lesson. It seems mean and unnecessary to ‘shut down’ a (presumably) childless woman (and perhaps one that did not have a choice in the matter).

I’d like to know your race and sex before I choose to believe this.

Headline from 2017: Listerine-resistance discovered in gonorrhea.

I don’t have any STDs so luckily I only need to use Febreze down there.

Still not as scary looking as these two

“Good night and good luck.”

Look, Trump is going to get Apple to build the best technology. Tremendous technology. Trump has the people to do it. The best people. There’s going to be new technology and it’s going to be the best technology that the country has ever had. Trump’s people will get all the bad technology and get rid of it. There’s…

Now I’m at the end of my senior year of high school

I’m still waiting for a single article about take-out coffee that doesn’t have a commenter who thinks “just make your coffee at home” is fresh new advice.

I don’t understand the logic of the people arguing with you; she’s an adult who made the decision to assault a person. He did the same thing. Adults should be responsible for their actions, regardless of gender. They’re both assholes who had the same bad judgment.

nope. Tidla’s emails were typical IM A NICE WHITE PERSON GIVE ME COOKIES, she literally checked off the bingo list. Maybe she shouldn’t have blasted her publicly, but I don’t blame her, mostly because like her in Trumps America I don’t really care about white peoples feelings anymore

No matter the cause, the *wild* speculation and conspiracy theorizing isn’t a flattering look to a lot of these people. They’re just waving charts, pointing at things and making stuff up. It’s a slightly nerdier version of that video of the woman spraying vinegar into the air, screaming at clouds to make the…

That is the worst movie I’m going to pay $30 to go see in theaters next year... and I will love every minute of it.

Show me on the doll where Taylor touched you.

Well, when you were a young woman you never heard of things like cars, racial equality, or the ability to acquire goods using money instead of trade. So, y’know, can’t really go by your old ass standards.

Right. two drinks. Whisky and Rum. The only two drinks I need.