My wife adores spreadsheets. Lucky for me I met her before this guy did.

15 years ago, online dating itself was kind of a weird thing to do, never mind spreadsheets. So who knows — maybe this guy's on the bleeding edge.

Looked at the sticker on the box ... "20 megapixels? Not bad! I didn't know a camera that old could do that." Read article. Two POINT zero megapixels. Oh.

Yeah, that's kind of weird. I've never heard Abraham Lincoln's murderer referred to as someone suitable for the term "assassination," but maybe that's just the company I keep.

They can make all laptops touchscreen, won't bother me. But please, let me keep the trackpad. I work with a computer all day, and I really don't want to have to reach up and get touchy-touchy with the screen for hours at a time in order to use the interface. My back and shoulders are screwed up enough as it is.

Perhaps it's not so much a golden age of ax design, so much as a golden age for tools that would hypothetically help you survive a few encounters with classically imagined zombies. I'm going to laugh so damn hard when the zombies really do come, but it turns out all the movies and TV shows and comics were wrong, and…

Outside of a few isolated instances described in one or two AP reports, did this actually happen very frequently? Was there really this widespread rash of employers demanding prospects to log into their FB accounts during interviews? It seems like the politicians who passed this spent a lot of time solving a problem…

Don't shower for a week prior, work out every day wearing the shirt, and eat nothing but garlic. If anyone picks your shirt, you've found true love.

Hear hear! Perhaps Birchbox can limit its "manly" gifts to things that are only useful to biological males — jockstraps, fleshlights, Enzyte tablets, etc. Women can get things for their parts, and everyone gets gender-neutral goodies, like tech toys, loaded handguns and Spree candies.

Comment of the Month.

Came for the retro phones, stayed for the Tijuana Brass-ish soundtrack (in the intro, anyway).

Looks like an elephant in a hoody.

Hook this up to Chatroulette. Then you'll really get "The Stranger" done right.

"Why are we here?"

I'd gladly pay a buck or two more if theaters would do something about the assholes. Phone talkers, jackasses who bring a screaming newborn to an R-rated movie, kids pissing into a cup instead of leaving to use the restroom (this really happened), etc. Until then, I'll wait and watch it at home.

I'll need them to serve as emergency lifeboats too. If they float, I'll take four. There's a volcano that needs appeasin'.

Does this thing work with HBO Go? I mean, does it have the HBO Go service built in as a channel? If not, I can't justify ditching my ol' laptop-hooked-up-to-the-TV installation.

Could be. But that's taking it a little too far. I'd think a lot of good prospects wouldn't just refuse; they'd walk right out of the interview, because who wants to work for a company like that? And if they told me on the way out, "Wait, wait, it was just a test," then I'd have to wonder what other kinds of mind…

Employer: Gimme the password.

Parts of it make sense. It seems DC is approximately around the area where the lower intestine starts, so that's good. But the mapmakers really should have positioned it so Florida was the guy's wang, just because.