We all know the main advantage of using an old handset like this is so you can hang up on people by slamming it down in anger. It really helps you drive your point home. Bill collector? Slam! Telemarketer? Slam! Alright, Grandma, great talking to you, I'll see you at Christmas, love ya! SLAM!

Hmm. No, I think a lot of the stuff I see around me every day was created by people who are, without a doubt, much smarter than I am. Not all, but some. And I'm OK with that.

I think the best use for this would be to forget about the backpack and wear it on the front of your body.

He's been telling you to shut up for years. Now he has a way of showing you just how much he means it.

The answer is obvious: Just have Pixar do the movie.

So the earth has been killed before? It's undead? We are living on a zombie planet!

Well if it isn't my old friend Mr. Rand with a hand for a tummy and a tummy for a hand!

Jeez, for a second I thought that was Steve Forbes.

Does anyone else cringe a little when you read one of these articles where a guy claims to have "played" with a prototype device? "Played with it" ... it just makes it sound like he jerked off with it. Like he "diddled it" or something.

Honest question:

When my wife came home one night with short(ish) hair, I was floored by how great it looked. But she just wasn't into it, so she let it grow out. I guess it's kind of like the way she feels about my beard. She'd love for me to grow it out to Rick Ruben, a-new-home-for-the-birds proportions, but that's just not going…

This guy should have been fired well before JoePa was (though I think JoePa had to go too). Witnessing a child rape first-hand and not calling the cops? I'm not a lawyer, but that fits my personal definition of "criminal negligence." What JoePa had to deal with basically boiled down to hearsay. He dealt with it…

Uh ... the 2 stands for "double ones" and the zero doesn't count. Obviously.

Tweeting what he heard — just typing out a text transcription of the argument — was one thing. Typing out funny/interesting/scandalous shit you overhear in public places can be good for a laugh if you don't name names or otherwise ID people. But when you add photos? And video? Well, it's not illegal, but I think it…

Ah, "Presidential Pullman Car!" I see. Thanks for that. I've been looking for a phrase to describe the murky, slimy, bodily-fluid-stained interior decor motif employed by all my favorite dive bars, and judging from the photos on this thing's site, "Pullman Presidential Car" fits the bill quite nicely. I take it…

As a product consumer, I can see why some people like Consumer Reports. They project an air of no-nonsense credibility in their little white coats and all. But as a product producer — well, long story short, their testing methodologies are highly suspect. And no, I'm not speaking as someone who's been burned by a bad…

What that movie needs is a prequel. "The Penultimate Exorcism," or some such.

Photo bomb, Renaissance style!

I'm amazed the camera remained in his possession after the fact. Take heart, camera man, that video will probably win you a settlement worth several super-pricey brand new cameras, not to mention about 300 new pairs of pants. It's unfortunate that Oakland taxpayers will really be the ones paying for it, but you win…

A ramp? That makes it far too easy for girls to infiltrate this thing.