I’m sure there is a way Leder could sound more like a creepy ass, I’m just hard pressed to figure out exactly how.

I have a 14 year old daughter who lives for the PINK brand but has said how ugly the Victoria’s Secret stuff is. PINK seems bigger than VS these days with this age anyway.

Petraeus was sentenced to two years’ probation in April 2013 for passing classified information to Paula Broadwell, who was at the time writing his biography and with whom he was also having an affair.

My grandma wanted us to call her “Fluffy,” most hilariously. This did not work out.

Ironically, my grandmother was Mimi, because that’s what my mom and all of her friends called her, so I just called her the same.

Yes we also went through a long and drawn out debate. I would threaten to have him call my mom “Gangee” a la Arrested Development just for kicks but they finally settled on Nan and Mimi. My dad came up with Poppy. My son was left to puzzle out my father in law’s name and came up with “pee-paw” on his own.

She says it’s short for “grandma green” but let’s be real, she just didn’t want to be called grandma.

Hipster old millennial dads ew right?

This might be the most hipster paragraph ever:

Balthazar? Axel? Afton? That’s quite enough now, please stop.

No. Papa is Grandpa.

According to her testimony (which the jury clearly believed), he raped her. If you’re looking for a logical connection between his actions and her reaction, here goes: she cut off his penis so he wouldn’t be able to rape her with it anymore.

Yes. Especially with a beard.

I feel like a drunk Jon Hamm whispering to Kathy Griffin “you’re sooo old” would make me laugh so hard I’d pass out. In fact, if he whispered it to me drunkenly I think I’d throw up from laughing. Something about picturing that seen is really hitting me funny.

A dinner party that includes Jon Hamm, Jack Nicholson and Kathy Griffin sounds like the 3rd circle of hell.

“Oh sorry, I was sure that’s how it’s spelled...”

I made this exact point in another post about this:

From now on, when I order coffee at Starbucks, my name will be “Clinton won 2 million more votes”.

Grande cappuccino for tiny hands. I have a grande cappuccino for tiny hands. Is tiny hands here?

One barista wrote “Turnip” on the cup.