seriously, that line is seriously stroking a man’s ego with cheddar bay biscuits for being such a sex stud. they’re all mad she hasn’t bought them any red lobster.

I can’t stop picturing Hillary Clinton kissing her fingers and pressing them to her wallet sized photo of Beyoncé for good luck before each speech. “We got this, Bey...who run the world?”

Again, just want to point out that Bush was married with three daughters when this tape was made. Seriously.

He bragged at a party that he had in his possession “a tape of Trump being a real dog.” These remarks prompted members of the Access Hollywood staff to locate it.

He should resign and concentrate on his CrossFit. Better for everyone that way, really. Just look at how much fun Boehner is having right now!

Also

Surprised Burnett has draconian NDAs that protect Trump? Nope

I don’t think it was staged either, but you’re right, is it really so crazy to think this particular family would do something like this? There’s plenty of people who thought her first marriage was a publicity stunt.

That’s a very valid point, though it’s also worth noting that the disbelief tends to come principally from those most concerned with actively and endlessly hating her and her family over all social channels.

Dab? Back to google for my elderly self.

Going to get a lot of use out of this.

“I’ll do more evil than the Lesser Evil ever could! And I have no idea what’s going on in the world around me! Vote for me!”

Well eventually that Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul tourism is going to dry up. Come to New Mexico! See the world’s dumbest Libertarian!

I saw a gif of him that said “Why choose the left nut or the right nut when you can have the Johnson?” and now I can only think of him as a penis.

“You want me to name” the person, he said, then paused, before adding dryly, “Really.” But he declined to supply the name.

Garybelle! because he’s shaped like a.... he’s the belle of the ball! What’s he doing in a presidential election? Is he running the lights or something? 

Literally the Ann Veal of presidential candidates. Him?

One beautifully subtle recent example of shade:

Can you imagine how tacky he would make the White House if he got elected?