“I’ll do more evil than the Lesser Evil ever could! And I have no idea what’s going on in the world around me! Vote for me!”

Well eventually that Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul tourism is going to dry up. Come to New Mexico! See the world’s dumbest Libertarian!

I saw a gif of him that said “Why choose the left nut or the right nut when you can have the Johnson?” and now I can only think of him as a penis.

“You want me to name” the person, he said, then paused, before adding dryly, “Really.” But he declined to supply the name.

Garybelle! because he’s shaped like a.... he’s the belle of the ball! What’s he doing in a presidential election? Is he running the lights or something? 

Literally the Ann Veal of presidential candidates. Him?

One beautifully subtle recent example of shade:

She is so bloody smart, in every kind of intelligence I can think of. I am going to miss her (and the whole Obama fam) desperately.

Can you imagine how tacky he would make the White House if he got elected?

Guys. Guys? Guys.

That is the best example I have ever read.

And it’s great for use in mixed company! People who know you will know you mean “fuck that guy” and people who don’t will chuckle politely, wondering whether you’re saying fuck that guy.

Don’t forget Cheerwine and Duke’s mayonnaise.

It has many meanings in the South. It can be “She don’t know no better.” Or “I honestly care about you. You are going through a tough time.” Or “Go fuck yourself.” Depends. I’m from SC and use the first two instances way more often than the third.

So glad I’m not the only one who saw this and went wtffffffff

So glad I’m not the only one who saw this and went wtffffffff

I’m from NJ so we usually just go straight to the F you with no dicking around.

As a southerner, it can mean f-you. It can also mean “I hate that it happened to him, poor thing.” (which is what it means here.) Seriously, “bless your heart” is one of my favorite phrases because it can mean many things.

“The ‘s’ in Illinois is NOT silent, believe me.”

And, in truth, Dick Cheney was probably allowed to sit because he is legally dead.