“My emotionally-estranged babadook of a life partner”

Her ticket, seen by French news agency AFP, read that she was not wearing “an outfit respecting good morals and secularism”.

Also...

Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys! I can’t with the movie lists. I’ve been trying to watch my way through the movies I haven’t seen on the AFI 100 list for, like, 7 years. Incidentally, the best I’ve seen in that time is a tie between Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and The Apartment. Worst is Midnight Cowboy. If you like M…

On an intellectual level, I know this comment is mean and I should disapprove.

She has thus far refused to speak negatively about her ex-husband, which seems undeservingly patient of her.

Fuck, dude. That better have been a really cute baby.

They often are. My birth and my mom’s first birth were almost identical: our water broke at 3 a.m. and we delivered our children at 9:35 p.m. (her) and 9:33 p.m. ending in c-sections. Our second labors lasted almost the same amount of time, too (her 7 hours, me 9)

I never thought I’d live to see Italians take themselves so seriously with such joylessness...

... you know I’m not actually jealous, right? I’m being cheeky.

Jeez. You’ve really run the gamut, huh?

Here’s why I’m jealous of airplane babies. MOSTLY I’m not, but here’s something that makes me jealous. My labors were 18 and 9 hours. Most flights are nowhere near that long. And even if I went into labor, like, right away, there’s a pretty good chance I could have at least landed before the baby popped out. These…

Seriously the only thing missing from this absurdly stupid trailer is one of the white people saying “We thought we were saving him... but it turns out that he saved us.”

Nice dodge, Finger. Stop trying to conceal the real story: that Denton and Suri Cruise are the same person.

“Because, as a church, we don’t end marriages. We prefer to let marriages end naturally, when an angry and increasingly violent partner murders his wife with a machete.”

I feel like the breasts would have packed up and left my body after, like, six. Like “Fuck this baby-crazy broad: we’re out.”

I nursed my kids 17 months and 21 months. No one ever said a damn thing to me... which is a little bit of a shame because I had some zingers lined up...

Yes. Michelle Obama is a goddess and I adore her...

Annie’s Song, because we are big old hippies and that song is fucking everything.

I was holding it together until this. Fuck.