9.7 seconds. I clocked that cartoon bear penis on the air for 9.7 seconds. I checked four times because I was sure I was doing it wrong, but within a tenth each time, there it is. For most packages (groan) that's enough time for three different b-roll shots. Not here, friends. We want nearly 10 seconds of graphic…

Grandview would go on to win in overtime, rendering all of this absolutely meaningless.

Jesus, what kind of idiot are you? It's all over the TV "No rules, just right" "No rules, just right." Well, it's pretty clear to me that these Aussies have no fuckin' clue about anything and goddamn they could sure use a few rules.

I have absolutely *no* sympathy for the fans. They've been advertising for years that they have "no rules" and that's "just right." Well, no more.

What are cities that yearn for a professional football team, Alex?

They turn the mics up when Manning is on field. They don't do it for Bears games, so you don't hear Cutler queefing in the huddle.

The Broncos may need to stop using it, however, as it is giving Wes Welker flashbacks about the time he stormed the beaches on D-Day.

When they play the Chiefs, he adds "Steaks" after to distract the opposing coach.

He's just reminding his teammates of the stakes.

Barry, you missed the most obvious explanation. Peyton has inked a major sponsorship deal with Mutual of Omaha that increases their visibility without the need for Peyton to film more commercials.

'Omaha' is where Cooper and Peyton told Eli he was being sent if he didn't complete the maze on the back of the Boo Berry cereal box.

They're just going to claim he was doing his own research by "consulting" other people and he made the final decision and vote himself, while Le Batard actually committed himself to voting for whoever Deadspin readers said to (Dan even joked that he was surprised how reasonable our choices were, he thought we might…

A Hideo-us situation all around.

Barry,

BBWAA's site has ground to a halt. A lot of the members must have received new CD's in the mail from AOL with 1000 free hours of dial-up.

I can't believe it's Rocca who irrationally votes for Hideo, yet it's Le Batard who gets Nomo vote ...

"Wait, there's now a Shorter BBWAA? Finally, maybe now they'll let me in."

BBWAA: How would you recommend we deal with this guy?

Meanwhile, the Portland Trailblazers traded LaMarcus Aldridge for a sea otter and a tarpon to be named later.