Yeah, but having worked at Wendy's, where I crushed in terms of my speed and accuracy at the drive-thru, I would be needlessly harped on for things like "having bleach on my pants" — which happens because you had to bleach the floors at closing time every night. (I was also told by the manager that because she had…

Unfortunately, a lot of J. Crew clothes already fall apart in the wash. :( I dig tissue tees and cute cardigans as much as everyone else, but I seriously do not want to be hand washing every single thing that I get from them. I think the quality ship must have sailed on J. Crew a long time ago.

"On a semi-related note, I was able to talk a manager at KFC into honoring an expired coupon for a free pot pie yesterday. So we're all big winners at life this week!"

Could not be laughing any harder if I tried right now.

DID THE CATS GET TO YOU TOO, ERIN? WHAT CUSHY ROLE DID THEY PROMISE YOU? EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF CATSTER?

THE TAPE COULD HAVE BE EDITED BY PRO-CAT CONSPIRATORS.

Ask and you shall receive.

If you too would like to try on one of Dolly's wigs then head on over to her museum, Chasing Rainbows (because she chased her rainbows) at Dollywood, where you can sit in front of a computer and see how you would look in her various wig stylings. Pro tip: be patient, kids love to sit there like they own the…

Don't even put that thought out there!!!!!

Well, you may not classify it that way, but his actions fit the definition of robbery perfectly. He took someone's property through force or intimidation, period. That's robbery. It's only "attempted" because she got it back.

This always happens to "developed" girls. Which is awful, in that the way your body exists is not necessarily within one's control.

Are we sure this wasn't actually Ham Rove?

Clearly, you've never witnessed the fervor of those who succumb to Chester A. Arthur-itis.

Garfield? Cleveland is clearly the president most likely to inspire rabid fandom. Sheesh. Amateurs.

It really is a case of the Mondays.

Plundering Garfield's tomb and they didn't even get the solid gold lasagna pan?

My boyfriend and I were watching one of those Ancient Aliens shows the other day (OK BEAR WITH ME I PROMISE THERE'S A POINT) where this guy was speculating how this temple couldn't have been made by slave labor and how the only plausible theory was aliens. It dawned on me that believing an alien race came from another…

I kind of want to believe that Bradley Cooper is a psychopath, if only because I have always felt him to be oddly cold and inauthentic in interviews. In reality, though, he's probably a super nice person and I am just trying to validate my totally random dislike of him. Still...he's got such emotionally dead eyes when…

I love everything about this comment.

"She opened her top and showed them her boobs, which Jennifer says were completely covered in 'the most beautiful angels and beautiful butterflies and baskets of flowers in pastel-colored tattoos.'"

I fucking hate people who try to get books banned. It's so...there isn't a word to describe how bad it is. Unless we're talking about a scientific piece of literature that has been debunked, (bell curve) there is nothing that can possibly justify banning a piece of literature. This country's love affair with…