I know this is the book cover, but the movie version threw out so much, I'd rather they reboot as an HBO miniseries.

I once had a guy email me on a dating site and state, "I want to rape your shithole." This soon became the fake go to pick up line for me and my friends. "I saw you from across the bar, thought you had a nice smile and just wanted to let you know I want to rape your shithole." It's really romantic.

a frog who ate 30 rocks.

This is what happens when you praise every little thing your sons do.

I saw a man piss his pants on the bus earlier, and this is still the least sexy thing I've seen today.

I was visiting Rome and taking a bus with some friends when we started talking to a nun who couldn't have been older than 25. She was from Seattle, and had just gotten to Rome a few months before, so she was still acclimating, but knew her shit. We get to a stop, and a man snatches her backpack and tries to run off of…

aren't stable condition and critical condition two different things? or can one be upgraded to stable yet remain in critical condition?

Glad this was someone else's main takeaway from this article as well...

Cool. Now, what's an arm-bar?

actually i think i would like it better if she was named harleen quinzel smith.

Me too. Actually I was probably younger than that. My Mother rode the bus with me the first day and introduced me to the drivers so they would know to look out for me (with regard to which stop I needed to get off at) I then walked through a public park to get to my home. My ability to utilize the Green Cross Code…

Not shown from tape:

Me too!!

Burt i don't know if its real or not, but

I'm pretty sure Cameron on Halt and Catch Fire is a grown up Sally Draper.

PLEASE I WANT IT I NEED IT PLEASE

It's infinitely easier for me not to jump off cliffs.

CASH BAR