Stef, I’m glad you’re OK. Given the caliber of article you’ve written here I’d say your brain is working just fine.

Hoon the tires off of that thing.

I refuse to believe you. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but I will continue to irrationally stick to my own unfounded (and much more fun) belief that this is the stair car from Arrested Development.

1. That car is the sex. It is Gorgeous.

This car is the sex. I have not had such an emotional reaction since my third child was born conceived.

I, for one, welcome our autonomous car robot overlords.

I’m not a fan of the styling (IMO every other car in this segment looks better, including the Sentra and Civic), but I don’t think its the real killer of the Dart.

Have mercy $kay! This should be a Porsche themed gift: NOT a Rebecca Black themed gift.

I’m pretty sure I would kill my family in one of those things. Plus living with the guilt of it (if I survived) would destroy the rest of my life. I’ll have to pass on this one.

Also doubles as Uncle Rico joke, making it both fun and funny.

...and sometimes musty.

...crammed in a gap between the water heater and that huge box of oily rags I keep in my basement.

What show was this? Seems like I need to watch it.

This is Jalopnik’s gift to you, $kay! You deserve it after all those COTD gifts.

Came here for this. Leaving satisfied.

This, 100 times this. Lexus does a much better job of linking their exciting cars with their regular line-up, and not just because of that ridiculous grill (though the grill helps, even if I hate it).

Gorgeous!

That thing is the sex. Megamullin likey the color.

I see your point, but disagree. I’m a huge car lover and I loved the Model S. Just because it’s different doesn’t make it an anti-car.

So...there’s a lot I don’t understand about this, but those Camo pants on the Jodie Foster look-alike in the front? They’re the thing I understand least about whatever is going on in this photo.