None of my friends understand why I sometimes choose to watch the Real Housewives, but I want so badly to share this article with everyone I know. Thank you for understanding me. If you ever need another Housewives-themed food-crawl helper/celebrity-stalker, I’m here.

Unfortunately, I've determined I'm a big baby lightweight, so edibles are no longer in the cards for me. Besides one time getting super high and wandering away from my friends and getting lost in the desert in Joshua Tree for FOUR HOURS before people finally found me, the worst edible experience (Jtree was amazing,…

Come on, come on, come on, come on, now.

I think that naughty, yes, is not a sexual word when you look at the definition and historical usage. But we now use the word in a sexual context, and especially in the context of costumes and Halloween...so why use it for a child in this context?? There are plenty of other words that could have been used, that don't…

This all sounds so clearly to me like emotional abuse that it's scary, and I can't even make jokes about the grammar and the twisted "logic" she employs. This is too upsetting.

FAGE ALL THE WAY!

It just looks bizarre in this capture since it's uneven with the other eye, so it makes her look like a cyborg. Pantless cyborg.

WUT IS HAPPENING IN EYEBALL HERE? Terrifying. Especially in the thumbnail on Facebook. Yikes.

I just realized he went to my (private Christian) university, how weird and AWESOME. I'm not religious, but it's nice to see those who are sticking up for Christian folks who don't have outdated/illogical ideas about modesty/gender/sexuality.

Do you just pour it straight into your vagina?

You know what irks me to no end? I LOVE the color pink. LOVE LOVE LOVE. But I feel like I can't buy any pink shit, especially "manly" things that have been "lady-ized" because then I feel like I look to men like some silly idiot who thinks she can do "man things," too. ("How cute, that girl thinks she can build a…

Gotta love buzzspeak. "Pro-consumer" ... my eyes just rolled so far back in my head. "We don't need you or your money! Get the fuck out of here! We hate selling our product to consumers!"

YES.

THE OUTFITS! MY GOD, THE OUTFITS! I want that tiger onesie in an adult size.

"This. This is genius. We've got gold here, everyone. Meeting adjourned."

This whole photo is just terrifying for so many reasons. Also, the angle of her leg looks so weird/Barbie-ish, like her ankles can't bend.

This is still one of my most favorite headlines ever. I can't not giggle.

This whole layout also seriously reminds me of the SNL "Moey Shambim champames" skit: