Better than the Falcons and their brief slogan “Weak Dogs Get Drowned”.

Is this sports?

Wilson: What’s a v?

Cool story, Sven.

Hauschka: Hi Russell, nice to meet you.

Dropping the “ph” does make his name seem less basic.

This also happened in Minnesota, but Blair Qalsh couldn’t really fault someone for pushing too far to the left.

Well folks, it finally happened. The NRA warned us all but I didn’t believe them. Last night as I was watching the debate there was a knock on my door. This startled me since I didn’t buzz anyone up. Maybe it was a neighbor who needed something? I ask who is it as I check the peephole and it was President Obama! At…

The modern NBA has too many glory boys and too much dribbling.

HEY NOW #notallbowlers

Whoa, slow down bud, trying to take notes here.

The real mystery here isn’t how EA could make such a simple mistake, but how did Sunderland win their opening 3 games?

They can’t bring in Kaepernick, if he ever takes a knee to close out a game he will be disrespecting the military.

Seriously, New Hampshire? We leave you alone for 5 minutes and suddenly you become Florida?

I’m not sure how helpful this is going to be. Canadians all look the same to me, with their beady little eyes and flappin’ heads full of lies.

How convenient. Now they don’t have a camera in the stands strictly for stealing signs and predicting pitches.

“Ugh — even that guy got at least one throw in before he left the stadium.”

Gordon: I swear to god, this pound of weed isn’t mine!
Detective: Sure, sure. We were watching you the whole time.
Gordon: I was set up!
Detective: Who would have any reason to set you up AND be fast enough to pull this off?
Gordon: oh. my. god....

*Terrelle Pryor cackles in the shadows*

The article failed to mention that the particular strain of imaginary weed he was carrying is called Fantasy Tears.