And they said a guy with Robinson’s frame wouldn’t be able to run through traffic.

Hmm...maybe if he knew somebody who specialized at throwing objects with accuracy and velocity at a target almost exactly 60 feet away, that person could knock the drone out of the tree...

I don’t think he’s their buddy, guy.

If the Earth were round, Giancarlo Stanton’s dingers would go straight into outer space. Think about it, you guys.

If only there was some kind of convenient bed Murphy could have used.

When reached for comment, the curator said “that’s going to be a pane in the glass to fix.”

Can I get clarification on whether or not the panda in an ice cream cone is real.

If the invaders somehow make it snow like a quarter inch, DC will self destruct all by itself.

What Drew is forgetting is that most of us aren’t playing on golf courses anything close to what the pros are; a three-foot putt at your local muni is a whole lot less complicated than a three-footer at Augusta, what with its fancy grass and undulations and oh my God I just wrote an actual response to a mailbag…

Hey, they stole Baltimore’s sign.

delete your account

Batting practice? Oh fuck off (to Hample, not you BP). THAT DOES NOT COUNT.

Instead of a baby monitor, I tie a string to my kids’ legs and run it down the stairs where it’s attached to a bell. If the bell rings, I know that my kids are up. I can normally just yank really hard on the string and it “trips” them back down into the bed where they’ll fall back asleep. Sometimes they get tangled…

60Tb capacity = 1Tb of useful traffic, 59Tb of tentacle porn and kpop videos.

Well, it's FIFA. Maybe the corruption is there for realism.

I’m surprised the winner wasn’t Teamy McTeamface.

There’s a typo in your article. You forgot an “O” in “doomed” in the second paragraph.

Hot Take incoming: Going off of the list of sports LeBron could excel at from yesterday’s Fun Bag I’m prepared to say that Lebron could have stopped that Messi free kick.

Oh, but when I pour a drink all over a server I get fired from my job. Fucking IT department is no fun.

WHY DID YOU TURN?!