Oh no, are we really breaking out the corny puns?

“Hey Homeless Guy, can I give you another kick in the ass on behalf of Life?”

Even worse is the fact that he used rye bread.

Apropos of nothing .

These people have no taste. Blossom is much hotter with glasses on.

Okay, I’m convinced. How do I register to vote?

Seriously! Who actually mistook Trump for a human?

Fun fact: Chicago’s tradition of dyeing the river actually comes from its attempts to figure out who was dumping sewage into the river (and where).

I’m glad they picked a shade of blue that looks like the color water should be, if that water isn’t flowing through Chicago.

Dear God! Can someone explain how they got dye around their mouths? I get getting it on hands and shirts, but all over their faces? What the actual fuck happened down there?

It’s like... the Dane Cook of Ivies.

It just means they used a phone to cook up the scheme.

The important thing to remember, is that these tweets are real.

This interaction is the platonic ideal for a HamNo article.

but the Superbowl Shuffle makes it almost worth it

Exactly. Hell, they can’t forget a single decent play in a game, let alone a title. Something tells me this Nolan character isn’t as bit a fan of sportsball as he is of kipping pull ups.

(slams window shut) (opens window back up) AND BUILD SOME AFFORDABLE HOUSING UNITS (quickly shuts window before hail of eggs pelts him)