This comment is Sublime.

Finally someone said it. I am just like Ronaldo. I feel exactly the same way except I’m built like Seth Rogen and drunk 70% of the time.

For a band that’s not well known, being mentioned in a deadspin article may propel them to fame! They may even get to perform a song for Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 3 now!

I was trying to come up with a quip about how ludicrous that statement is, but I don’t even know where to start. These people honestly believe that white people bend over backward to be nice to black people, but black people are savages who live to abuse white people. Is there any way to make that more ridiculous?

That headline though ...

Wow, should have gone with liquor then beer.

You’re not wrong Walter!

If there’s anyone in the world who has more practical knowledge about destroying the Taj Majal, I can’t think of who it could be.

There’s other stuff besides money that matter?

There are a ton of intersections with walk signals that don’t come on if you don’t press the button in LA.

I glare, and then when the light changes, hold up my hand like I’m a crossing guard while stepping off the sidewalk.

Usually pressing the button queues up the pedestrian light in the programmed schedule, but until that queue is discharged additional presses do nothing.

I know that pushing a crosswalk button won’t make the pedestrian signal turn on any faster, but there have absolutely been times when I’ve failed to press the button (for whatever reason) and the walk signal never came on. I’m not convinced they’re totally useless in all places.

I wish I had that super power

I feel like I need to fill out a report and get my mileage reimbursed for that pun’s journey.

Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov! 

Man, I wish the Jews controlled everything, then I might get a few benefits from the Jewish part of my family, but nope! Just a normal everyday life aside from having to remember not to call my cousin on Saturdays.

Checks out. +1