This has nothing to do with the article, but I just felt the need to say this:

“Okay, so how do we trade for Journalism?”

You think staffers care about congress? They care about making everything about their candidate spin positive. Thats how they keep their jobs.

R. Lee Ermey - Actual badass, who was so badass, that Kubrick gave him the Drill Sergeant role in Full Metal Jacket after Ermey spent ten minutes demonstrating how a drill sergeant actually treated soldiers.

Correction, they jumped two dudes, which is like, twice as hard as one.

Look, man—The Rock played football at Miami when it was actually still “The U”. That’s good enough for me

Joe Camel. In real life, he’s killed millions.

Colin Kaepernick can recite “Hurricane” wearing a leopard-skin pill box hat.

I know it’s a throwaway line, but he’s not a good harmonica player.

I know, thus the point.

April of this year—the beginning of the baseball season—Indians owner Paul Dolan said the team would move away from using the demeaning depiction of a supposed Native American, instead making the block-letter “C” the team’s primary logo.

Anyone associated with the Bears has to be by now.

I don’t think you know what a beer belly is.

rimshot

“These things happen”

What??? No “VEGAS, BABY!!!!!!”

All of these were just Ellie’s.

Weird place to put her corks but whatever.