Talk about burying the lede. I can get a day off for herpes?

because if he put that glass down it would tip over.

Got any pictures you could post?

This is a man who knows there is never a reason to put down a drink. I mean, why would you?

I like to split the difference and utilize grey-market gypsy cabs.

You’re saying the Bills will come due?

Maybe there’s an innocent explanation. Perhaps someone recognized the kid, yelled, “Chase!” — and McDonald sprang into action.

That’s sort of how that analogy works, though, with the blades flinging and stuff. The idea is not that there’s some unplugged Vornado with poop on it. That’s not worthy of a saying.

“Donald Trump respects all women. Except lesbos. Well maybe *hot* lesbos, but not ‘two-mommy’-type lesbians. What’s with that? SAD!”

My mother worked on Ted Kennedy’s 1980 presidential primary campaign to unseat Jimmy Carter. She said this was a joke around the campaign:

I’M WITH (grabbing) HER (pussy)!

Get the tip to Woodward!

Suits, not “suiting.”

Suits, not “suiting.”

You capitalized “Livid” but not “Clown”?

Ivanka = diamonds at the club

Ah, a flashback to when REAL PEOPLE sang REAL SONGS in their own REAL VOICES.

The hell’s going on here?

inebriation is a pretty cool blessing, too, tbh

It’s Digimouth.

Unfortunately, the gene-splicing treatment needed to overcome recessive ginger DNA costs upwards of $10 million.