Glad to see you’re getting a full 8 hours of sleep a night. Carry on in good health!

I liked that song about his mom smoking pot, hitting the bottle and the crack rock. “All Star,” I think it’s called.

“Listen to Howard Stern.” That’s the kind of advice for which I turn to Urban Baby.

Unclear on the concept.

QUEER ANTICS IN A STAID QUAKER FAMILY’S PANTRY AND PARLOR

Agreed. And in the end, she graduated from Georgetown after all.

. . . as surely as a bullet killed Lincoln.

It’s not always true. In the NYC subway system, if you have to use the elevator (or just enjoy the occasional brief respite in a urine chamber), press and hold Door Close and the button for your floor simultaneously. It will save you a good 20 seconds.

Everything else?

The walrus was Paul, but he was also Saul, so the math still works.

I was watching Morning Joe (not really), wondering where he stands when it comes to sharing-economy ride services. Sure enough, wouldn’t you know, he starts talking about how great Uber is, he’s all for it, and then he asked that Donnie Deutsch guy where he falls when it comes to Uber, and Donnie said he was a…

Man, the elaborate backstories people had to invent to enjoy a little porn in the pre-VHS days!

nasty

I just googled-image-searched “totally not crazy eyes” and that picture didn’t show up anywhere in the results!

It must be heartbreaking, knowing that your father doesn’t really want to have sex with you.

Like Gumby wet his pants, maybe.

“Dave’s not here.”