Thank you. I keep telling my girlfriend, “You don’t need a Big 12. You don’t even need a Big 10!”

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a) Sure you can. Plenty of losing presidential candidates help a lot of people.

Fatty Arbuckle killed a woman but beat the Rappe.

Isn’t the problem obvious? He can’t hear the ringer on his phone now that he has Nobel.

This might not be a big deal, but your take is objectively wrong.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjMkqFmRGL4

I always say, the key to winning football games comes down to offense, defense and special teams. Also coaching, conditioning and lots and lots of HGH.

So happy to be somewhere where they are not talking about Trump! #TweetingAboutTrump

Um, that’s a DigIvank.

The Teach for America guy in Birmingham moved back to San Fran for grad school, so there’s no one in Alabama to correct the exams anymore.

I would refer you to the majority opinion in the seminal Internet Bullshitting v. Out of My Ass decision.

“I apologize for being disgusting to you ma’am.”

I don’t understand why all the states don’t get together and agree not to provide incentives to billionaires. Or we could pass a federal law making it impossible — there seems to be clear Commerce Clause authority for this.

I get angry and want to break stuff when I see that thing now.

You would prefer, “Holy shit, we won! Let’s get some cabinet positions up on Monster.com stat!”?

Freshman dorm and a few wine coolers, in my experience.

Julian Assange is a rapist