It's cool youth pastor hair! And deeply hideous

Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,

Poor little Cotton. I just want you to know that we, your brothers and sisters, are all praying for your safe return.

I'm from Pittsburgh—I put Ranch on everything. Also, I can't have fluff in the house because I will eat the entire jar in 2 days.

Good for her. Going on her terms. GBM is a terrible way to die.

"People. It's time to reassess whether or not you really want to go and see the Fifty Shades of Grey movie."

"What IS this movie even?"

Oh and by the way, as if all the above weren't enough: Bumgarner was also the best hitting pitcher in baseball this season (.258, 4 HR, 15 RBI, .755 OPS). http://m.mlb.com/video/topic/11…

I know this might not be the best place to say it, but i just need to express my eternal gratitude to jezebel for having the only comments section anywhere on the Internet that fills me with joy instead of anger.

"You're Australian. Be Australian."

The time you won your town the race
We chaired you through the market-place;
Man and boy stood cheering by,
And home we brought you shoulder-high.

obligatory

Let's just get the obvious out of the way and say "this would've been more believable if she claimed she was simply a confused Methodist."

He had stuff gallantly streaming twice. The twilight never had its last gleaming. It was sung in monotone and lasted forever. Then there's that neck tattoo.

I love how Tim Lincicum notices he fucked it up and gives him a "dude are you drunk?" Look

Rest In Peace, Kid. Very sad day.

I particularly enjoyed the various players' reactions to this abomination:

Thank you, Pennsylvania. Thank you, America. This has been a horrible, traumatic, week for our nation. It's good to know we have friends so close. Today fucking sucks. I pray hope and love and joy can overcome the hatred and destruction that tried to win the day.

the best anthem. The True North.