“And remember, Junior, if the teacher forgets to assign homework, make sure you point that out before your classmates clear out.”

“Well, I’m sorry if you just can’t handle a fan of sport making sure the rules are followed, good sir.”, the dickbag says, just before calling the HOA about those infernal children selling their damned lemonade down the street.

Same for me. But only because I have no retirement savings and will probably work until I drop dead anyway.

Oh yeah, sorry, it’s kind of obscure, it’s the Blue Jackets’ entire history from 2000-2016

Yes, it is starting to look like that.

FYI, sharia law now involves scantily clad women, men bending over in front of other men, alcohol, and touching a pig skin.

This is what happens when you focus too much on RPI and not enough on the sniff test.

Wait, someone with the last name “Fartass” is a only 3-seed? The committee is corrupt.

If he’s looking for an offensive line, you can’t beat the red one across his kid’s bean bag.

I heard Mike Zimmer wanted to convert him to fullback, but he was completely against the switch.

I normally 10-2 refrain from making puns based on aggregate scores, but Bayern dropping a dime on Arsenal has simply forced my hand.

glad they found a backer, as opposed to making super cuts to their roster to accommodate a new venue.

I’m beginning to think this Draymond Green fellow might be a bit of an asshole.

... and then getting hit over the head with the Korbel.

Wide Men Can’t Jump

Can we skip the formalities and just call this The Shaw-snack Redemption already?

Your dad would be proud at what an insufferable fuck you’ve grown into. Good to know you’re the only person who’s ever suffered loss in the world.

I think they should get all of the Mikes they can. Mike Lupica, Mike Francesa, Mike Wise, Mike Wilbon, Mike Tyson. Just get them all in the same studio, and call the show What You Deserve For Listening to Sports Radio.

If the tackle didn’t get her, eventually the cologne would have.

“their three-year sentence feels light given the savagery of the act.”