Try Certain-Dri. It is an antiperspirant you put on at night before bed. I used to have massive pit stains but after using it for about a year my pits haven’t sweat for over a decade. I know some rock climbers will use it on their hands to prevent them from getting sweaty on the wall. You can also get Botox injections…

Isn’t this the plot of Die Hard 2 but with a bus instead of an airplane?

I think it has something to do with the general lack of interesting people in the NFL and the league’s general attitude towards fun or interesting players. I don’t really have strong feelings on Gronk but at at least he tries to be entertaining.

I agree with you. Nothing can ever be nuanced anymore. Everyone has to shit on people who like different things. It’s really unfortunate how many things you can apply this argument to.

I mean that was a really long-winded way to say the juice is yummy. I believe that. For $7 a bag it better be yummy. If you find that to be a reasonable price for a glass of juice that’s OK. But you can squeeze it with your hands, not a $400 machine.

It needs WiFi to read a QR code to check if the juice is expired. Or, more accurately, double check, since the expiration date is printed on the bag.

If you watch their instructional video (which highlights how stupid their average user is since it contains about 15 seconds of footage explaining how to open a cardboard box) they cut open one of the bags after they juice it. It looks pretty finely chopped, all that is left is pulp.

It better be the best goddamn juice ever if the pouches cost $7-9 for an 8 oz serving.

You are missing something. The bags of juice cost $7-9 for a serving of juice.

Also the Capri-Sun bags cost nine goddamn dollars each for eight fucking ounces of juice.

Holy shit where do you work that the company buys you $9 bags of juice?

Yeah that doesn’t quite add up. You need to be a franchise dealer to sell new cars. The only way for them to sell a new car would be for it to be a Carmax brand car.

I mean I hate car dealers too but not because they want to sell their cars at market price. If it is true that at his dealership the demand is vastly larger than their supply his comment is exactly true. A car dealership is a business, not a charity. They shouldn’t give up margins just because something totally out of…

Then don’t run it.

Does deadspin pay by the word to write “football coach has reasonable expense report”

Weird that when he does something for charity there is a two paragraph article that never gets talked about, but we had to hear about him and the national anthem for months on end.

Did you still get to pee a water jet that could cut sheet metal out of your butt?

I don’t have an account either but I would assume has something to do with the fact that teams average over 1 point per possession. If you let them play to the end of the game mathematically that translates to Northwestern winning >50% of the time. If you foul them then at least you have a chance to come back.

At some point the prep does become kind of funny. Around water jet poop #20. Then it goes back to being bad once you have to drink more of the prep. I have heard that the prep is not as bad as it used to be, you don’t need to drink quite as much of the liquid.

Only fasten the 2nd button if it is a 3 button suit. I don’t know why but this is a hard and fast rule. Bottom button should always be unbuttoned.