Well, my bus doesn’t (yet). As it is I am usually one of only two or so reading a paper out of 60 on a bus. 20 years ago everyone had at least one. It was a nice social grace to trade your DN for your seatmate’s Post when you were both done.

The Daily News has become a Hot Taek factory, on both sides of the paper, in a desperate attempt to spur newsstand sales. People already know the score, they’re not dropping $1 to read about a game they already watched. So it’s all about creating drama and manufacturing outrage.

I brought a friend from upstate NY home from college one weekend. He put mayo on a sausage-and-pepper hero. 28 years later my family still talks about it.

What the hell are esports? Video games?

Exactly. The Jets are a moribund, identity-free, boring club firmly ensconced in the Who-Gives-A-Shit box with teams like the Falcons, Texans/Titans, Vikings, Bucs... heck, half the league. They’re never really good, and they’re not Browns-bad enough to be amusing.

We had guys on my HS football team who would cry after losses. Me and my smart-ass buddy would sit in the back of the bus and make fun of them. Coaches caught us laughing early in senior year and neither of us could get on the field for meaningful playing time rest of the year despite being the best WR and RB/CB on…

I was a pitcher as a kid. Once a guy clearly older than the league allowed smoked a line drive right into the center of my chest. Being gritty, I ran after the ball to throw him out at first, but then realized I couldn’t breathe. Kept trying to inhale and would just wheeze. I fell down and actually thought “Well,…

I played in the NYC coed advertising softball league years ago. It was supposed to be a fun night out with your coworkers. And more importantly, meeting cute industry colleagues from other companies at the bar afterwards. Yet there was always an asshole or three on every team trying to ruin it. Guys sliding into…

Did you ever take out all the lint in your old dryer? You gotta reach in behind the filter with one of those grabby tools. You’ll find enough to make a sweater. Also take the hose off the back and take all the lint outta there, too. You’d be amazed how much better the dryer works, and as an added bonus it is far…

Burt Reynolds is in the category with Keith Hernandez: not an unusual mustache, but an absolutely perfect one.

My grandfather ate oranges whole, like an apple. Skin and all. “Aah, it’s the best part! Full of vitamins! It’s good for you!”.

“You get three years of goodwill after a title, if that. If you start losing regularly, the grace period cuts off.”

When does it end with the poors? We have to feed them, house them, clothe them, educate them, give them medical care and pocket money... now we have to pay for their legal fees. I have a better idea - let’s just give them a one-way bus ticket somewhere else.

The whole Fernandez thing was brutal. I was on a golf outing with friends when the news broke. These are the kind of guys who mock each other incessantly for everything from their divorces to their daughters’ sex lives to losing jobs to life-threatening physical ailments. Our “locker room talk” would give Trump…

Also, what kind of sissy doesn’t replace his own sink?

Nothing beats when my wife sends me to the bakery because Road Pastries.

My parish had a musical director/singer who had had some small success in the recording industry, and had a spectacular voice. Years later I still get chills thinking about his version of “Oh Holy Night”. He’d belt out “Faaaaaalllllll on your knees” and you fucking would. Midnight Mass was packed out into the foyers…

Skittles are different flavors for a reason. Why would you want ten handfuls of identically-flavored fruity when you can have some grape, then some red, then some lemon?

I’ve never had a real tree and I am 50.

This kid that likes my daughter gave her his Netflix password. His parents are encouraged in his new interest in nature documentaries, baffled by his having watched every prison documentary on the site, and they bought him some superhero DVDs for his birthday because they thought it was him watching Daredevil and…