Oh my gosh, 3 months of dating is almost like no time at all if you’re not famous. You’re dating just long enough to discover the other person doesn’t like cheese on their hamburgers and GIRL THAT IS WHEN YOU KNOW IT IS OVER.

I for one am glad to see you’re making good use of Low Power Mode with only 24% battery left!

Free Bear Hugs!

I will hands down miss the commenters. The writers are fantastic, and they give us good stories to talk about. But I don’t believe anywhere in the whole wide internet is as awesome a place to comment as Jezebel.

Enjoyed the ride!

Hugh Jasshole

As a polyamorous person, this is some bullshit. Humans aren’t built for monogamy or non-monogamy, just like women aren’t hardwired for empathy and men for conquest, they are just human, with infinite variety and desires. Some people find monogamy works for them, some don’t. If you’re one of those that don’t you should…

Yeah. Because what the Earth needs right now is a larger population of people. What could go wrong? There’s plenty of food, space, water and wealth to go around. Let’s all just hang out for a couple hundred years and play Nintendo. It’ll be rad.

800? So how many years are you working and paying bills?

There are of course legitimate instances of rape.

Is it pregnancy fan fiction from the man’s point of view, though? Because a slob like Seth Rogen ended up with a woman who looks like Katherine Heigl.

I don’t think highly intelligent orcas should live in bathtubs - eek does that make me an extremist? Also who cares whether or not Dawn’s arm was swallowed - she was killed by an orca who was driven to psychopathology. That’s the take home point.

He said so himself in his presentation of Hillary. When he lost an election, she’s the one who made the suggestions that led to being the first person to lose and then be re-elected. He went from that position to running for President. Having a spouse who believes in you, has insights into how your career works and…

“natural charisma” = penis

Seriously if I have to read one more goddamn article about some idiot coming down here looking for southern “authenticity” and “realness” I’m going to lose my mind. You know why you can’t find it? Because all the authentic southerners have been run out of town by YOU. Like, the south is not some place full of friendly…

The banality of this article is so profound that Nietzsche would be in awe.

This is going to be really harsh, but: Dump him and move. If he’s not good at money now, he never will be. Don’t put yourself in a position where you are supporting him. It will cause tension and heartache down the road, and it’s better to just get it over with now than drag out the inevitable.

Take the job. He can come with you and get fully onboard (no crap, no snark, no guilt trippy whining) with Chicago. Or, you can long-distance it for a few months with him coming to visit you in Chicago so both of you can evaluate how much the location and the relationship mean to you. Or, you can try to part as…

Take the job. (And congratulations on getting the offer!). 28 is definitely not too old to start fresh in a new city. Good luck and have fun.

Connections are important but, doesn’t Chicago have a much more influential music scene than Minneapolis? (Not to knock Minni ... it’s a city that has a very tender place in my Canadian heart.) Perhaps his connections might have connections there. Or perhaps he can get excited about the extra opportunities. (Not to…