There’s a restaurant I really like by my house that has a Wednesday wine special.

Well, you can drink ANY color straight from the bottle.

And then within the reds and whites, if you want to get crazy with it, there’s different sizes and shapes depending on the type of red/white! I didn’t know this until recently, because I don’t bother to look before pouring it right into my face.

“We are many” is absolutely a quote from the Bible. And since it’s a quote from the Bible it was obviously said by Jesus and not, oh, an entire legion of demons. That’s like 15oo demons. So good on Kim Davis for being familiar with her holy writ.

Interesting, I’ve never seen that before. In my experience, 5 oz. is the standard pour for wine. No size options, just ‘a glass of wine’.

Middle management material at best, if not for nepotism.

He’s a solid C+

It is a thing. I have heard many people say this. I think the basic meaning behind it is, “You can persecute me all you want; God is sufficient for me. He’s all I need. I don’t need you or your approval.” In other words, “Please make me a martyr so I can have 15 minutes of fame.”

God is sufficient? Is that a thing? It sounds like something from Curb Your Enthusiasm. Like how’s your god? “Eh, he’s ok I guess... I don’t know, he’s so-so. He’s sufficient.”

Wait, it isn’t?

I am completely unsurprised at this. I did demos at Costco on weekends for ~ 4 months and while I had amazing co-workers, the customers were the wooooorst. It’s like the prospect of anything free turns people into animals. Things that happened to me:

“There must’ve been some mistake at the factory! I didn’t know there was a fryer in there, I was just buying cups!”

No nursing homes. He’d probably punch out the residents instead of doing the housekeeping.

I was going to say something about oil derricks, being oily, etc. but I found something much better. From wikipedia:

I seriously think this guy was behind me in traffic today (not really but he really looked like Derrick). He roared up behind me, tailgated, and then did the classy double flip-off thing. I laughed at him until he went away to tailgate someone else. Lucky I wasn’t driving a Nutella delivery van.

I looked at his Instagram and of course it’s full of comments telling him what a douche he is. However, looking came with the added bonus of seeing that he got called out for repeatedly posting pictures of a model and pretending she was his gf. Hilarious.

Can you imagine the other cons hearing about big bad Derrick, here? “You did what? What?”

I was doing a job where we handed out free samples of fried chicken tenders and other fried bar food at Restaurant Depots.

One time I was working by myself, giving out samples. I had to go to the bath room so I fill up like 3 of those baskets, hot dog and pizza places use, with stuff. I am gone like less than 5…

Oh, the samples line at Costco. The great equalizer that will cause a millionaire and a blue-collar worker to poop in each other’s shoes in righteous indignation over an ounce of popcorn.