AND you are providing a livelihood to many men and women up and down the shoreline who like to work on yachts!

The only way to settle this is for both of them to give me their yachts. I will stand on each of the decks, drinking champagne in a nautical sweater and white pants as I peer off at the sunset upon the horizon, and in that moment I will know that owning a boat is way fucking better than not owning a boat and who gives…

A judge in Maine has ruled that Kaci Hickox — the nurse who was detained against her will and against logic upon her return from treating Ebola patients in West Africa — does not have to follow any stinkin' quarantine. Science - 1. Chris Christie- 0.

They buzzed you! "Wut dis human doing living in a tree? Hmmmmmm?"

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TELL ME WHERE THIS ISLAND IS SO THAT I CAN AVOID IT FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. BAD JUJU MY IMAGINARY LEFT TESTICLE. I WILL NEVER GO THERE.

After the last election, I had respect for Cutler. Now he can eat a bag of dicks. I really hope his supporters vote for someone who could actually win.

AHHH makes me want to have an X-Files marathon!

YEH, it's not often you get a good alien story! AHH
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

Yes! Depressing dearth of aliens in this thread so far.

That was my thought too. Worth it to live in a treehouse!

That treehouse sounds awesome though.

Ahhhh the ending!!!!

I have about five true "ghost" stories, and all of them suck. No flaming eyeballs, no rolling heads, no faceless children jumping out from the storage closet under the stairs. This one is a two-parter, and the parts are probably only as related as mud and water:

It's coming from inside your butt!

I once heard a ghost fart.