Heartbreaking. Thankful to know i am not alone in my carbonated grief. :'(

I'll have to ask Father Jim how Jesus feels about all this. Do you think that would be a godly solution?

But... but... I saved myself for DC. Our first kiss was post-marital! Zhe always showed such strong Christian values! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!?!? WHERE IS YOUR GOD, NOW, JIM BOB DUGGAR?

I'm naming my first child Crystal Pepsi. RIP.

I am a married womun. Do not speak to me like this in front of D.C. Zhe gets jealous.

Joke's on you, John Hamm. Mayonnaise doesn't expire.

Going to set myself on fire now. Bye.

It was the bomb! Peep it:

I really don't have any major issues with his policies (see also: he is not Paul LePage), but he has done too good a job at making himself look like a mega-dick over the last year or so. Also, I met him at an event right before the last election and he was super smarmy, like used-car-salesman-level shit. Really…

LePage is up for reelection next Tuesday and unfortunately, he's probably trying to ride the overinflated Ebola response train all the way to the Blaine House again. "BUT GUYS, I SINGLE-HANDEDLY SAVED THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE FROM EBOLA! REMEMBER? IT WAS JUST LAST WEEK!" I live in Maine, so I'm a little bitter. Also,…

The summer before my last year of college, I lived in a treehouse on a friend's property on a large island. Set back in the woods a bit, it was pretty secluded. I loved it. It was quiet and I could do pretty much whatever I wanted which usually involved an entire six pack of PBR, nudity, a pellet gun and Grace Slick…