That moron playing Humpty Dumpty is about to ruin everybody’s night.

He’s taking a shit in the chimney, Santa style

As I was looking at the MRS necklace I was like “what if those were just your given initials, wouldn’t that be convenient?” Then I was like “what if those were your birth name initials..then when you got married you changed your last name...”

Actually, 5 endangered elephants were slain in kenya and nobody noticed... #lionprivelege

“Where’s Walt-o?”

We would be seeing significantly less outrage if he had killed a panther. #alljunglecatslivesmatter

The thought of a Pinterest-perfect Tswift wedding literally makes me want to shotgun five Bud Lights in a row.

I love this. I know it’s not kosher to judge other people for how they choose to live their lives, and it’s not great to have women knocking other women down, but damn. It’s refreshing to hear such celebration of non-standard beauty. And there is such a tremendous pressure to look pretty for others, to be in the…

I know she’s going to get reamed as problematic, but what I’ve discovered is anything you claim that you are and are proud of, you’re will seem to be tacitly or explicitly denouncing other things.

#NotAllMenWithLargePenii

True story, I was going to sleep with this guy who had such a large dick that the condom kept POPPING OFF AND FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM. I gave up after 3 tries. If a condom can’t handle it Lord knows I can’t.

THE PENIS MIGHTIER.

Are we really small, or is eight inches just longer than people think it is? I suspect some might be surprised to learn that average length (U.S.) is about five to five and a half inches erect.

This had a notable lack of information on what Chris’s actual dick is like. I am disappoint. Poor journalism!

If you’ve got a study that contradicts this one (which says that those “poor African guides” you speak of, along with their entire communities, receive less than 3% of the money spent on trophy hunting), please feel free to educate me! Until then, I’m going to believe the research over your personal opinions.

And people who eat quinoa need to know exactly what they’re doing to the Peruvian and Bolivian economy, yo. Shit is real out here.

But when you eat a pet, you can taste all the love you’ve put in to that pet. (Joking, I’m Joking...)

I personally have to eat meat to stay healthy. I’ve dealt with anemia for the last few years. In fact just recently I finally had numbers that were within a healthy range and am not currently anemic. And that only happened both with eating meat and using supplements. Supplements only do so much. And yes I’m aware…

Ohhhhhhhhhhkay. So, I can totally get behind careful consideration of the ethics of the food and products we consume. I am all about this. But I am not a vegetarian, and I am not a vegetarian, in part, because of ethical concerns. 1) Our entire food system is fucked up. A lot of human labor is involved in the…

Gosh, it’s almost like joking about it didn’t bother her but then beating her half to death and trying to actually do it is some sort of deal breaker for her! What a crazy bitch, am I right? Good catch, man!