oh my god. oh my god. i am dead

Enjoy this large pile of stars.

I love you.

Don’t use a compressed air duster. I am posting from a new computer as yesterday I found out the compressed air duster works liquids into the computer, not out.

slavery more like yayvery

Neither, apparently.

I cannot begin to describe how Little Earthquakes impacted me as a teenager. Tori is a queen

Plus! Plus! If you read through the actual transcript, all three of these kids seem incredibly brave and willing to stand up to the judge (WHO IS SUCH A FUCKING BULLY IT’S UNREAL) and to their dad, who is just standing there, not doing shit. At one point, after the 15-year-old is taken away, the 9- and 10-year-olds…

Yes, there is a YouTube video and I had to do it 5 times last week, and yep 20cc syringe and warm water - tedious. Yes, no pay but still calling me to cover more days, it is like I have a brand on my head that reads “sucker”????

Dear Putin:

My first thought? Have a T-shirt made up that says “Jacksonville Asylum Staring Contest Champion 2011”

I’m amazed she was able to stay focused on anything at all with a Bear staring her down like that.

I just asked two actual children what they have to do if they lick food in a store, and their response was to say “buy it” in unison.

Who the hell is giving her solid food anyways?

well like

You beat me to this joke by one minute. I abase myself, and degrey your post in penance.

“Threatening him,” that’s fucking hilarious. You know perfectly damn well he wasn’t even remotely threatened by her. He wasn’t afraid for his safety, he was angry that she swung at him and missed so he decided to cave her face in; if you want to defend that like some sort of psychopath, go for it, but give this…

Or Ebola. Ebola’s good too.

If any of you say he had the right to do that, I hope you get syphilis.