My biggest takeaway from the link to Vick's record fantasy game? Donovan McNabb signed a 5-year, $78 million extension with Washington...in 2010.

My buddy started Aaron Rodgers instead of Peyton this week. He also started Montee Ball for some reason. It's not going well for him.

When you're dating a girl it is like pulling teeth to get her to play with your penis

Grierson, I just watched What Maisie Knew yesterday because of this article. It's not a perfect movie - it gets a little too twee for me in places, but what indie film doesn't these days? - but it was a great watch, and it was great to see a movie about a child that's not unrealistically precocious and actually acts…

Ouch. I knew Oregon dominated...well, Oregon. But even Benton County? Come on guys, OSU is in your county!

Wait, I thought things could be Oriental, just not people. Like rugs. OH GOD AM I A RACIST?

I read these for other teams, and I see people get angry in the comments, and I think to myself, "What a bunch of dumbasses. These are meant to be funny. I can't wait until the Dolphins come up; I'll love it." Then I read it. Now I'm sad. The Dolphins aren't just bad; they have no prospects for getting any better, and…

Grape jelly is fantastic, but marionberry jam is something fantastic.

Yeah, it was such bullshit when Lindy and everyone here said they have it harder than thin Black women!

A premium IS put on a certain type of thinness, but a premium is put on all thinness over being fat.

NUH UH YOU MUST BE TOO STUPID TO KNOW YOUR CALORIES AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE LYING FATTIES

WOW! Your friend said something that was inaccurate, likely as a defense mechanism (because fat women are treated like shit, remember?), and since you obviously see her at every waking moment and peruse her food diary, you know she was full of shit, so obviously ALL fatties are just bullshitting! Thanks, Dr. Science!

I grew up in eastern Oregon. You'd do well to avoid it.

1. Age 27-35 (ideally 28-34)

Perrier is gross. Also, if you ever talk about pairing water with foods unironically, I hate you.

Don't forget Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler. How could you forget it, really?

Go back to Russia, commie.

It took me 14 seconds to realize that that was an actual human person.

So you're sympathetic to the cause, so long as those dumb girls acknowledge that you are super smart and have all the best ideas. Got it.

There are very few people that inspire more unreasonable hate than Lindsay Lohan. I don't think she's some saint, but wow.