I'm 6'3" and I'm pretty happy with it, but I'd probably go for 6'6" or 6'7". I also stand on parking bumpers and imagine that I'm that tall because I'm a dork.

What do you think is the largest number of people that have been killed by one person? This is really a two-parter: I think the biggest number is by some sort of state actor - a soldier, or some asshole white guy that was a right-hand man to a shit like Columbus that just wholesale slaughtered entire tribes…

How much Asian porn did THIS guy watch growing up?

THIS. People need to get over the idea that rapists are all shady characters that are unlike anyone you know. You know a rapist. I know a rapist. Nearly everyone in this country knows a rapist.

Roseanne is an awful transphobic person. Tom Arnold is a blowhard. Roseanne may have contributed more to comedy, but Tom Arnold doesn't say hateful things on a regular basis. Go Team Tom.

Jessica Walter voiced Fran on that show. She can do no wrong. Also, seriously, look at this woman!

I'm failing to see the problem.

"Amateurs."

The Apartment-era Shirley MacLaine:

Princess Chiomera, but sure as shit only with consent:

I disagree. When Time put a huge picture of Osama bin Laden on the cover, no one batted an eye. Why? Because he looks like what we expect terrorists to look like. The Rolling Stone story was about how a seemingly normal white kid becomes someone willing to plant a bomb and kill innocent people. That picture is a big…

Sigh...I'm glad I'm the only person in my office right now. I'm a wreck. And my family has no history of Alzheimer's.

Adolf Hitler (1889-1945), winner.

Unfortunately I woke up with it rather than receiving it on a school trip. What a school trip that would be!

I got a spider bite about an inch and a half up the shaft of my penis two nights ago. This is grounds to summarily execute every spider I see forever, right?

I hope I can even approach being as cool as this dad when I have kids.

I've actually only been to the one on 23rd. Have you been to Bull Run Distilling right by there? Free booze tastings!

I have a mohawk, a biker-style handlebar moustache and I'm wearing a hoodie LITERALLY RIGHT NOW. I never get a second look. I'm also white. I'm not Trayvon Martin.

WHAT THE HELL