I'm a dude. I'm a white dude. I have it better than everyone.

THIS. Also this:

Movies love sex in uncomfortable places (cue "like the back of a Volkswagen?" joke), but Elaine sums up my feelings:

From Here to Eternity. It's a pretty iconic romantic scene, but all I think about is the mess.

Hey! gif buddies!

This film haunts me.

This guy can attest, a proper tutu can look amazing.

Yes, it's the worst kind of dirty sex.

You're my favorite person right now for this.

This. This is what you made me do.

Gross. Any woman that would want me to treat her like a princess is not my type. Sorry, Soulja Boy.

Maybe I'm doing the locker room thing wrong, but am I supposed to give a shit what the other men in the locker room think of my penis?

I never called you a troll. I called you dumb, just not in so many words.

This isn't the first time you've said dumb things in response to me, so I'm not going to waste too much time, but sociologically, in this country, racism doesn't really happen to white people and sexism doesn't really happen to men. And there are still many, many men who are most certainly not dead and are continuing…

It's a good thing that the power dynamic of womansplaining and mansplaining are the exact same, so you can make this a true equivalency.

I once used some of a roommate's Miracle Whip without checking the expiration date and spent the next two days unable to do anything but expel things from my body. That was stupid.

Me while reading the comments, hoping for some well-stated takedowns of this rape-apologist clown but getting more rape apologia for my trouble:

Chevy Chase is the fucking worst. Just a piece of shit human. Fuck him.