The last time I traveled for Thanksgiving was when we drove up to my uncle’s house when I was pregnant with my youngest child. We were a full two hours late because it took us almost 8 hours to get there in some of the worst traffic I have ever seen on Thanksgiving Day. I spent the entire drive with a pie on my lap,…

Given that these turkeys are spending November terrorizing an area known as Holiday City within the town of Tom’s River makes me think that turkeys have mastered some concept of irony. That’s one of the signs of the apocalypse, right?

Makes sense that this would have healing powers!

OMG YES.

I watched Arlen Parsa’s video about twenty times in a row last night. It felt good.

I spent the first eighteen years of my life living in a haunted house. It was built in the 1700s and was one of the original houses in the town I am from. In its long life it was, at varying times, a boarding house and a foster home for wayward boys. It was also situated in the middle of nowhere. Our nearest neighbor…

I am just here to say that I hate Blippi. Haaaaaaaate hiiiiiiiiiiim. I think any other actor playing that “role” (if you can call it that) would be a vast improvement over this whiny-voiced whacko.

Yup. When I heard about the phenomenon I was in total agreement.

When I was 15, I got a job at Wendy’s. The usual, kind of shitty but mundane fast food job, where you work your way up from cleaning restrooms to tables to restocking the salad bar and the Frosty machine, until finally you get to either flip burgers or take orders. I wasn’t technically old enough to flip burgers (you…

I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but one weird thing about my perception of pain is that deep somatic pain doesn’t faze me nearly as much as superficial pain. Breaking a bone, childbirth, those things hurt, but are totally bearable and basically don’t need meds for me. But I stub my toe? One of my kids…

Its super old at this point, but I still believe that Allie Brosh’s pain scale is way more accurate.

Yay!!

OMG

Yep! I cannot imagine a parade of these guys during mating season. Stuff of nightmares.

Nope. Its not. These things have been known to attack birds. BIRDS. 

Not remotely as scary as this land crab.

HiYes. He was truly made of love. I think he comes closest to the kind of man Jesus or Buddha is portrayed as. If he had been born a thousand years ago, humans would have made another religion out of his teachings.

I laughed. I cried. I scrolled through all the comments waiting for this exact reference.

If we compare the picture to the Official Look of Love, it’s very easy to see that Novack just doesn’t match up. 

Fuck you, Mitch. I hope it always burns when you pee.