seriously. If I want a vacation I'll take a vacation. It's going to cost me either way. And on a real vacation I promise you I'm not staying at some god-forsaken all-inclusive resort like Sandals or something where you're fucking up the environment and doing almost nothing to help the people of the impoverished…

No. It's fucking rude to have a destination wedding. You're just saying fuck-all to your guests, you know, the ones you're supposed to be THANKING for being part of your day and lives. Wedding receptions are supposed to be about the guests. And if you're going to an all-inclusive resort somewhere - ugh. I'd rather…

I wanted a dress like that. Unfortunately when you're a size 16 it's a matter of finding a dress that doesn't look terrible.

this is stunning.

exactly. I'm getting married in less than a week and changing my name. I'm a feminist. So is he. It just makes sense for us.

Au contraire. October is the most popular month for weddings here in the DC area. I happen to be having my own next week. ACKKK. Need a, um, gin and tonic, in fact.

Honestly, my pit bull would like the face of an axe murderer in the process of killing me, but I like to think she looks scary enough to keep most of them away. At least she would give us warning.

I've been cautiously optimistic about Jezebel after the exodus of some of its best writers, but this doesn't bode well.

Or comedy.

Ugh. Is this going to be a regular feature? Because it's terrible. And honestly, your readers would be better served by offering real, if snarky, advice.

I go with something like "you did what was right for you, and you have my permission to punch any sanctimonious asshole who tries to shame you for it."

ha, ok. I can get on board with that. May you two be the most disgustingly cute and long-lasting couple in the world :)

There's no Persian or Afghan or Middle Eastern food in Pittsburgh??? For real? I find that REALLY hard to believe. You can't swing a dead cat in the DC area without hitting an Afghan kabob place. Maybe I'm spoiled.

My mom actually taught me this - she always told me I was too accomodating for men - always focusing on what made them happy. She told me I should let them spoil me from time to time - they like it. So I don't argue with him - I let him treat me well. Of course I don't take it as far as my mom does - my dad worships…

why must every Jezebel article on weddings devolve into a brag fest over the cheapest, most humble wedding ever?

Agreed. My fiance and I are in our 30s. We both spent our 20s being boring - paying off student loans (which weren't too bad), saving for retirement, living cheaply. We both have savings and we're ok with spending it (within reason) on one big party for everyone we love. Now, this isn't a humble brag but I really wish…

I know a couple who just got married and she has 150k of student debt (!!!!) and they dropped 30k on the wedding, most of on credit. I can't even. What's worse is they have so little in common except both being good looking that I can't picture it lasting.

WTF do you get a couple whose wedding is that ridiculous? The covered casserole is going to look pretty fucking ridiculous.

Seriously. I'm in DC, getting married in two weeks, and ours will be around 15k for 80 people. It's damn near impossible to have a decent event for under 10k for more than 60 people.

Good luck re-selling it for anything even close to what was paid. The diamond industry has a nice little racket going of artificially inflating prices - it's worse than a car the amount of value it loses when you buy it.