You have to agree, though, that the Ukrainians have been extremely ingenious in their approach to warfare - ya gotta work with what ya got.

Cite your quotes!

I thought half the point of doing business in Texas was the ability to pollute the fuck out of whatever you want. 

YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE COFFEE IN YOUR BEETLE SO I PUT BEETLES IN YOUR COFFEE!

This guy would have just sent it:

Today I learned, thank you!

I am slightly embarrassed at how long it took me to get that. :-D

Owns multiple German cars and does not have multiple sets of Triple Square tools in socket, t handle in both male and female?

Other potential VP candidates who just missed the cut:

Huh, I don’t know if I’ve heard the term triple-square used. I probably have, but I would’ve called it a 12 point bolt. Just an observation.

The Chinese will build to any level you want to pay them for, and that you are willing to spend riding herd on them to make sure they actually do. From iPhone to lead-painted kid’s toy.

Once you have assembled enough of it, you don’t need the instructions anymore.

Deep, cold freshwater lakes generally have very little oxygen at the bottom. No oxygen, not things that eat things, and no rust. There are still recognizable bodies floating around inshipwrecks at the bottom of Lake Superior...

Idiocracy was not meant to be a documentary, yet here we are.

Well, I never doubted it can return to earth. I just wondered where it would land and in how many pieces.

Imagine being that dude and all these years later, still referencing his douchery. 

1.5, maybe 2 psi.

An ambulance.

First of all, would somebody PLEASE get me out of the greys? I got Kinja’d when my laptop had a disc-read error and deleted my cookies. The password I had written down on a scrap of paper wouldn’t work so I had to sign up again.

Years ago, rumor had it, that the Seine river was so polluted that if you fall into the river you could break an arm.