See Rule #1.

[Hips]: OUCH!

[Agrees with Deadspin staff]

My wife and I fight over this constantly, help settle the argument: Friends or Seinfeld, which is better?

And it gets worse when you realize that the other branches of the armed forces use different names going up the scale. 2nd Lieutenant, 1st Lieutenant, etc.

Wow, some real out of the box choices left. Will Ridged Chips face Kettle Chips? Can't wait for Pretzels V Peanuts!

I am disappointed that more of us aren't selecting pork rinds. I THOUGHT THIS WAS 'MERICA!

Kyle, do you or anyone else on staff have an idea how well our current NBA stats might predict success in a 3-on-3 format? Or at least know which ones are useless or shaky to move over to the format?

You ever read the movie reviews in The Onion AV Club? They're exactly what you want - brutally honest and completely unforgiving. They're intelligent enough to serve you well but not so up-their-own-ass that it's painful to read.

Is the trap learning about Canada?

This is beautiful.

While in undergrad, the head of campus security would send out an annual warning when hunting season started, since hunters would occasionally (and illegally) come on to the farm property Vassar owned for hunting. These were some of the best emails every year. A few choice quotes:

a potentially severe and exceedingly viral infection

That unfortunately is the problem with this research. There's no indication they accounted for the age of the people in the couple or the age of the relationship. The data only come from two states (NH, VT) four years into allowing gay marriage, so it's very possible if not likely that the lower rate will simply…

Another notable absence:

[Matt McCarthy] is not related to Jenny McCarthy

Season 2 of Orange is the New Black had some crazy shit in it, but this wasn't even the major plot line.

This is the most reasonable list I've seen on this site yet.

Eppur si muove/And yet it moves