“Every so often in this trash world, we get to wake up to some good news that’s like a ray of sunlight on a gray and stormy day.”

Mmm, yes, truly a good day to be a 1%er. *lights Cuban cigar with $100 bill* This will help keep me preoccupied from the volatility of the Pacific rim market corrections.

“4th and down”

Here is a transcript of the settlement negotiations with the EPA:

you should also CLEARLY be able to see the turtle

obvious fake. Where are they hiding the rest of the continents in that picture? On the other “side”? Please, globalist.

That’s why I love The Onion’s editorial cartoons; they’re so fantastically terrible and often have a random crying Lady Liberty.

No, it’s not a coupe. No, it’s not really the embodiment of class or performance. But if a throwback is what you’re going for, better go full McFly.

Hitting animals at speed is one of my biggest motorcycle fears.

Professional sports do a pretty good job at addressing a number of social issues, but have come up short representing gender and sexual identity equality (historically). Good starts recently in the NBA and elsewhere. Great to see professional racers take a stand.

Surely this also connects to Brooklyn Nine Nine! UNITE THE SCHURVERSE!

I actually clicked thinking it was a Torch article

#cotd

Funny, because that’s a deinonychus not a velociraptor

Yeah you want those conservative women votes, start running some fuckboys.

I spent most of my teen years as an Anheuser-Busch procurement manager. 

Republican in the front, skinhead in the back.