“Oh, am I Brenda?”

Do not. Go into. The comments. Of that article.

“Keep it up, you’re doing great!”

“You probably shouldn’t be airing this out in public.”

“Dude, calm down.”

As a general rule, if you find yourself actually typing out the words “Oh, am I, Brenda?” you missed your exit. 

No, Zach Smith is having THE public meltdown

No but you don’t understand. He was inconvenienced twice over several months because he didn’t want to use either of the two devices he already owns that would not have this problem. So obviously this is a Very Big Deal.

I think his cell phone was either broken or lost some time ago

Given his love of Hochuli, I can’t see Kavanaugh closing the gun show loophole anytime soon.

Of course she’s a thing. Did you mistake her for being human?

Are we sure clouds are good???

“Which cloud won the sky?”

Eh, more likely he would write a 5,000-word column (or these days, record a 5-hour podcast) called “Clouds: Overrated, Underrated, or Properly Rated?” and it will be organized by Rounders quotes.

He wouldn't yell at the cloud, he'd just lecture it as to why the movie "Teen Wolf" is, from a strictly technical standpoint, the best film of all time.

I couldn’t even be mad. I was mad, of course,

indeed! My desert-island pasta is bucatini alla amatriciana, which took a lot of trial and error—more for the consistency of the pasta itself than the sauce. 

But hold on... if you watch the replay slowly, and focus on the legs, you can see... riiiiight there.

The mantis is clearly kneeling. During the anthem.

BOOM.

#BlackLivesMantis

Way to bury the lede, Lauren. The mantis was fucking praying during the national anthem. That is the most patriotic, God-loving American shit I have ever heard. What a hero. 

McMurphy leaves out one diabolical angle to what ESPN did. Its not just that they figured the McMurphys of the world would be too driven to sit on the shelf. ESPN thought that paying out the contract would cripple him as a potential competitor. Let his contacts and influence go stale while people forget about him and…