You know what makes this car cool?

Wow, an SNL skit made me chuckle.

Is that Russell Crowe or John Goodman? 

Ah yes (screws tinfoil hat firmly on), the front for Japan’s secret military developmental bipedal weapons platforms! Once they have the tech perfected they’ll offer countries around the world their own Gundam for tourism purposes and those countries will never suspect that inside those harmless seeming sideshow…

This asshole illegally acquired a gun and crossed state lines with the intention of shooting people and has the gall to claim he committed multiple murders in self-defense. The only sad part is that he didn’t have the common sense God gave the average cockroach to stay home instead.

That’s like when I go for a walk with a vape pen and I’m like, “Damn, I’m still on 46th? I’ve been on this same block for like a half hour, I think.”

You’re not supposed to be offended by what’s on the outside of a Bud can.

This marriage is doomed to fail.

Does it not speak for itself?!

The fisherman also went on to catch one of these.

Waiting to find out a high-dollar car sale was used for money laundering.

This whole influencer concept and reality TV people becoming “famous” will be the downfall of modern civilization.  Such trash.  Ugh.  Makes me feel all old and “get off my lawn-y”.

All of the suggestions are bad and the people who made them should feel bad for suggesting them.

You don’t want to have the melted fat from the bodies mixing with the lye to form a soapy white discharge which creeps into the rivers...

I feel as though I never got enough tickets to really get anything remotely good from behind that greasy glass. No amount of perfectly-rolled skeeballs or expertly-whacked moles got me close enough to the promised land. This is spitting in many a face.

How is this different from any other night for me?

Counterpoint: if you meet a woman who owns a Peugeot*, definitely try to fuck her. Just don’t get involved or ever let your guard down.

When Jeep’s first “Advantage” is heritage, my response is,

Watched the video. No smoke bombs present. Could easily see culprits. Left disappointed.

I hope that upon my death all of my social media accounts will be used to educate people about exciting opportunities to earn up to $11,756 dollars a month working from home.