Most golfers are self-serving douchebags. Even the ones whose marketing images are clean and wholesome (Phil Mickelson comes to mind) are skirt-chasing alcoholics, drug abusers or degenerate gamblers. And the fraternity they hang out in protects them very, very well.

Differences between Robert Allenby and Tiger Woods:

I love how in his original fake story, he claimed that his attackers were "likely jealous of his fame".

Talk about a hole-in-+1.

Looks like he should have taken an unplayable lie.

Lennay Kakua did it.

"So many bricks."

Then he should have to pay the league mandated fine. The fine should not be escalating, which is the author's point.

Always Highlight Truthers.

Here you go:

"Gerd of War"

"kertos pls"

Probably the most devastating use of the belt since Adrian Peterson.

How far can he throw a football?

Coincidentally, Pat McAfee won't be able to attend Hall of Fame ceremonies. He has a virus.

I think Belichick should be strapped to a chair with his eyelids peeled back and forced to watch Peter King bathe naked in a hot tub of takes while every columnist listed above gives him rusty trombones in turn.

"Mr. Johnson, Deadspin has called your Super Bowl win 'forgettable', do you have any response?"

On most teams-maybe most important job outside of head coach-was the ball boy in charge of rubbing down footballs. Getting them just right.