He was pretty good in Trainwreck, too.

Naturally Chesterfield left a smoking gun in this scandal.

My favorite part of football’s trophy presentations is watching the backup goalkeepers keep their gloves on while they celebrate. Fellas, you didn’t touch a ball all tournament, and it’s over now!

There Isner way to tell.

Bale or Belgium this afternoon—who ya got?

Injuries to Mets pitching really is a Thor subject right now.

I can’t decide what filled me with more joy—the ecstatic Icelandic goal call, or the choreographed simul-slip of the pitch invader and the security guard, around :08 of the video.

Counterpoint:

Christ, don’t give Neuer any ideas!

What will Kessel do with the cup? I bet he might just go for a Run.

Oh, doubtless. I think Le Nouveau Château will be back in the Premier League next season due mainly to his influence.

I never thought I’d say this, but I feel bad for Rafa Benitez. Zidane picks a lineup identical to Rafa’s, the key feature of which is that gem Casemiro, and Rafa gets relegated with Newcastle.

700 Xanax going into the river? Damn, the fish there must have been so chill.

He found the fountain of oof.

“That kid is making us look bad!”—Liverpool and Spurs defenders

Depending on your allegiances, a fortunate consequence of Spurs’ utter capitulation has overshadowed West Ham’s similar reversal of fortunes in the past few weeks—they went from an outside shot for the Champions League places to hoping Manchester United win the FA Cup in order to get into the Europa.

Whoever wins, we lose.

I never thought I’d see the “Dropping the Browns off at the pool” joke made so literal.

To be fair, they have to wait until Monday to play anyway.