I’m frankly baffled that so many sportswriters and commenters were jumping on Cesc Fàbregas and Eden Hazard for announcing they don’t want Spurs to win the title (folks on the Guardian openly invoked the specter of “match-fixing inquiries” were Chelsea to lose to Leicester on match day 38). I think folks conveniently…

Maybe under Broussard’s shitty belief system, he thinks retweeting a man is considered a homosexual act?

De La Rosa picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.

Wait wait, don’t tell me: He’s a great cyclist too?!

Physician, Hield thyself.

What a crêpey job.

That man is a gift, and we need to Payet forward.

“Amateur”

Given that this guy’s got a shirt on, how sure are we that he’s a real Geordie?

His teenaged son can sign a KU letter of intent on the court after One Shining Moment!

[citation needed]

This is a metaphor for the EPL season. Yoink!

Appropriate for a guy who pissed away the best years of his career with Arsenal.

She’s the side’s Eden Hazard—a playmaker........but not the best finisher.

This is excellent news—I was leading the #FreeNasim charge while she was on SNL because she was so criminally underused, and her energy isn’t cut out for a live show in the same way the other performers are. But it’s about to get weird in Pants Town, population Me, if she’s playing a 14-year-old boy, because I also…

With Pinoe out for the foreseeable future, I think that left wing is now Tobes’ new spot to lose. Her delivery is uncanny with both feet.

Ah yes, the old “head-shoulders-knees-and-toes” routine of deciding what’s injured as you fall over.

“Marvin, can you help me get into the Hall of Fame?”

Welp, time to bring this bad boy out again: Uncle Roger’s Punishment Generator