Apple maps is liking checking into a swanky four star hotel and finding a doodie in the bathtub.

You mean this "site's" articles. Azz.

I already want to get rid of it and I don't even own it.

They should pay their old logo a little more homage.

"Apart from that phone lost in a bar, the iPhone 5 is the most leaked phone in Apple's history"

And so begins the countdown to the first pilot getting busted for watching porn in the cock-pit.

Winston bananas has 200,000 views. Not exactly what I would call viral. Or good. Twerking? Viral? Fry that chicken? That might be the worst video I've ever seen. It's definitely the worst song.

I don't know what's sadder...that today's whiney entitled masses somehow think everything they own must have a camera, or that Apple succumbed to the whims of the whiney entitled masses by giving them a camera on the iPad. I want to leg sweep every person I see taking a photo with a tablet. Nothing says "I think I…

Are we truly supposed to believe this dude's haxor palz didn't at least slip him a prepaid iPhone with a data plan that he surfs the web with under the covers at night?

Says the guy with the cat-stepped-on-my-keyboard user name.

I have to say, this is not Jonny Ive's finest hour. What's with the wonky gap on the back corners? Is that a piece of plastic wedged into an aluminum frame, a la Apple TV V1?

Instead of spending $100 billion on anti hurricane technology, how bout we spend it on Operation Permanently Move People the Fuck Away From the Places Hurricanes Always Hit.

And we know for sure that this isn't just some {insert Apple competitor} sponsored smear campaign exactly how?

Unlike a $1000 camera or a $1000 tablet, these are much easier to sneak past the wife!

more importantly, what about the untapped oil reserves in Larry Page's hair?

Incredibly paints? Ok Yoda.

Here's my idea for the cafe/coffee shop table of the future.

This is gizmodo's m.o. lately. Add an editorial adjective to any headline that doesn't need it. Those photos of Paris weren't gorgeous. That iPhone 5 video wasn't hilarious. The Lego Spiderman is definitely not bloody goddamn awesome. And this woman is not terrified. All in the name of attracting clicks.

Soaked in radiation?

Cleverish, perhaps. Hilarious, no. The funniest stuff is the truest stuff and this isn't all that true. What I came away with more than anything is that at some point the guy who wrote it had his heart broken by a foodie. Nothing more.