+1 deflated ball

You eat shit for breakfast??

He kissed a boy goat on the mouth?

Cause of the whole goat thing?

“Tom Brady’s Getting A Raise But Not Actually An Extension”

“50th Consecutive Jets First Round Draft Pick is Determined to Bust.”

“Sorry, that came out weird. What I meant to say was that I’m going to jerk off first and then pop Madden in. Better?”

Might I suggest...

At least this is his sole problem.

this is the OFF SEASON.

Still I rise? That looks more of a fungal infection than yeast. 

I prefer the former, less literal way to show the agony of defeat

Rex Ryan would nurse those feet back to health. Day and night, tirelessly working. Without thanks, without pay, without reciprocated feelings.  That is what love is.  Being there when you aren’t asked to be.  Seeing the foot for what it is ON THE INSIDE and not for what it is on the outside, because that’s where true…

Appealing? No.

lol i gotta stop pulling that kinda shady shit

Hell, we’re just now finally calling Saint Reagan racist. And he actually supported gun control (to undercut the Black Panthers. Ah, the rich tapestry.)

It was simple and brilliant. It will never not be relevant.

I’m from Canada and never once believed you Americans were even close to being better than us or any other country. Trump, mass murders, poor access to healthcare and quality education. I wonder what your country would be like if you replaced all that dick-swinging with actual self-awareness. Shocking idea, I know. 

I hate how much mileage this article gets:

It’s been said a million fucking times, but I’ll say it again: once the government and gun nuts declared loud and clear that they were okay with the senseless murder of innocent children, the die was cast in America. This will keep happening and will never stop. Fuck every single person who still believes guns aren't…