It is impossible to live in America in 2014 and not have some sort of subconscious racial bias. Even if you know you have a bias, and that it's wrong to have a bias, it can be really hard to erase completely. We're all inundated with these cultural messages from childhood, some of that shit is going to stick no matter…

I mean, hair color and race aren't really comparable, and a lot of the time, it's worth considering why things that we think are just preferences exist. Like me, for instance; I used to say things like "I'm just not attracted to black women," but when I sat down and thought about why I said that, I realized that I…

Since dating is not a democracy, it's not racist to have a preference for a person of similar background. But... when people say stuff like "I don't find Asian men attractive," I have to wonder, did you really need to communicate that shit to me? It's called an inner life — that's where you put those thoughts you…

I don't think you actually appreciated the column if your response is to point to situations in which women have victimized others. That was not the point nor is it relevant. No one is suggesting that only women are victims.

I totally understand and in no way mean to say that only women are victims. Child abuse happens all too often as well. I covered numerous cases of child abuse in South Florida, and often the mother was jut as culpable as the father. But in this case, I focused on spousal abuse because that was what happened here.

I lived with my friend for two years, 1.5 of which she was in an abusive relationship, and while I knew her boyfriend was emotionally abusive and helped her get out, I didn't know he was physically abusive until well after their relationship, when she felt safe enough to tell me. I was in the house when he hit her…

Bullshit. If he'd never hit her before, he would've reacted to the fact that he knocked her unconscious like, I don't know, a man who had never punched his girlfriend would react. Not stand there like it was nbd, kick her legs out of the way of the door, and then drag her around like a sack of fucking potatoes.

For men who are murdered, the percentage killed by someone they're intimate with hovers at about 2 to 3 percent.

This is one of the most cogent things I've read about this story. Thank you.

"A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing it. I don't know how they...how do women still go out with guys, when you consider the fact that there is no greater threat to women than men? We're the number one threat to women.…

Thank you for this, it is very insightful and very good work. If anything this whole incident has shed light on the largely-ignored domestic violence problem in this country.

Of all the women murdered in 2010, nearly 40 percent were killed by a spouse or someone they were dating, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics. This number has been 30 percent or higher since 1996.

I would be remiss if I did not point out how amazing this guy is for being such a good wingman for his fish. You don't want to date him? Fine. He's got 23 fish to introduce to you. They are tropical as fuck and ready to mingle. No hard feelings.

I'd love to know what kind of responses she gets. I once put something in my profile about a potential match needing to have a full time job and not live with his parents, and I got at least five messages about me being a "gold digger" and "wanting a man to support me". I'm sure she gets a TON of hate mail.

I have to say, while her list is way more effort than I would ever put into an online dating profile, I kind of get it. OkCupid just inundates you with dudes being like "U r hot. Lets fuck? plz" Honestly though, if my experience on OkCupid taught me anything it's that no matter what you state in your profile, dudes…

My dog died in her sleep at home, I woke up to her dead in bed with me, it was not unexpected she had been ill for a while. But if I had had to put her down I would have preferred to do it at home, mainly because I am a very private person and have no interest in losing it in public. I decided to bury her at my…

I'm saving myself for my manic pixie dream spring boyfriend. He's sprightly and mischievous, much like Puck. Must be 5' or under. (Some exceptions if you're 5'1", but you better be REALLY sprightly and mischievous.)

Wardrobe should include: Driving mocs, Barbour coat, Half-Zips (at least 3, please send pics if possible), Ray-Bans (Wayfarers or Clubmastesr preferred, but open to other styles), loafers, Patagonia vest(s), Vineyard Vines, basketball shorts for me to sleep in

Ha, but I think it's important to hear voices like hers, no? To see that older women are having babies and their thoughts about their choices? I'm interested.