PRO TIP: IF YOUR OPTIONS ARE 'SHOOT BLINDLY IN THE DARK WITH FULL INTENT TO HARM" OR "LOOK OUT WINDOW"

Safer? Tweeting to the internet. Less safe? Strange dude on the subway thinking you want touching.

I don't know if you've ever pushed your leg against a random man's leg on public transit or just in public in general but it's likely that's going to be interpreted as "asking for" some sort of interaction with the dude. Not desirable.

My boyfriend is a living bitch-slap to this lie about crushed genitals: He is hung like a whale (and I can compare, because I've been a certifiable slut for eight years) and he sits with his legs crossed all. the. time. He shakes his head when he sees this shit.

Guys. We don't believe you. What we do believe: You've…

Some constructive criticism, thehunchbackofnotredwayne, since I see you are interested in pursuing a path in sexist trolling: you need to commit (I would suggest you fact-check, too, put that's probably beyond you — Maddie is a staff writer here, just FYI! That is a full-time position, and also a vagina is not…

You are not good at this.

Dude, if you need to sit that spread, seek medical attention. Your balls should not resemble grapefruit.

Our reproductive organs are not 2 feet wide. Stop making excuses, and learn how to not sit on your balls idiot.

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While I appreciate you added the USUALLY to the statement about writhing on the ground in agony due to period cramps, I can tell you it occurs FAR MORE OFTEN than you might think. So just imagine getting kicked in the balls, for hours a day, for like 3 days a month and you've got what my period feels like. Sucks bro.…

The haughty way that she taps her hip? It is everything. So stylish yet frugal.

I think not being able to name a single newspaper she reads probably hurt her chances a lot more.

EVERYONE draws Jessica like that.

Seriously, every single commenter on the gawker versions of these articles that tries to blame her for it because of her profession: there is a special place in hell for those people.

"War Machine stated: "that's my pussy and I'm going to take it back now."

I saw the photo and told myself that if some asshole was in the comments flipping shit over the fact that she's holding a cigarette in the lead photo that I would stop and get some ice cream on the way home from work. So. Thanks.

These disgusting racists are so glad to have even one straw to grasp at to prove that the cops were A-OK that they are embracing a militant oligarchy. Unfuckingbelievable.

Yeah and from the photos it looks like the baseball cap is inexplicably missing from Brown's head when he's lying on the street (dear god that is horrifying to even type), and he's wearing shoes instead of sandals?? Sorry, did he stop for a costume change or something?

They're really doing everything they can to make Brown seem responsible for his own murder. It's absolutely disgusting that they refuse to admit they or Wilson did anything wrong and have no problem lying about facts when the truth has been recorded (sometimes from multiple devices). That they keep changing their…

1) Show me Brown's convictions for robbery and assault. (Hint: there aren't any, so there is no proof he "committed" anything).